Thursday, December 28, 2006

Pattern in Cannes?

It’s that time of the year again, when ads need to be published ASAP to meet the deadline even though Cannes Lions is still 6 months away. Quite interestingly, Lego has kind of started a winning pattern beginning in 2005.

Cannes Lions 2005 Outdoor Grand Prix - Ogilvy & Mather Chile

Cannes Lions 2006 Press Grand Prix - FCB Johannesburg, South Africa

(What are the chances for this one in 2007?)

3 days left people, plenty of time to execute some more Lego!

Yet Another Proof of How Freakin Lazy We Indonesians Are

Found an interesting piece in the December 2006 edition of Citibank Clear Card (free) Monthly Magazine about the supposedly latest craze within Jakarta’s young urban professionals crowd: lunch in Bandung.

Yes, you read it correctly. L-U-N-C-H, in, Bandung.

Come again?! Having lunch in a neighboring city a 90 minutes drive away (and that’s on a good day), on a WORK day? Practically taking out a minimum of full 3 (three) hours from your 8 hours WORKING day only for the trip, not counting the actual time spent on the lunch itself. Hell, who wouldn’t love that.

I surely would, too bad am still a sane person!

The following is the breakdown of a typical 9-to-5 day of an average young urban professional in Jakarta, assuming that particular article in the magazine represents the majority.

- 09:00 Start working (at least in theory)
- 10:00 People actually start working or just arrive at work
- 10:30 Leave for lunch, in Bandung
- 12:00 Lunch in Bandung
- 13:00 Return to Jakarta
- 14:30 Back to work
- 17:00 Leave work tenggo!

What does that leave you? Roughly 3 (three) mere hours of productivity only, even less than half of the 8 hours normally required. Yet we still wonder why this developing nation is apparently in a permanent slump. Hello! We barely work half of the time we’re supposed to be working. And the sad thing is, we actually encouraged this. Just pick up that December edition when you see one, and weep.

Bill’s Plan to Rule Indonesia Botched

Another ingenious attempt on world domination by Microsoft has been intervened by the watchful KPPU (Business Competition Oversight Commission), as reported in an edition of Tempo Interactive. Following is an excerpt from the article.

“Information and Communication Minister Sofyan Djalil explained the case of the Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) between the government and Microsoft.

The MoU about appointing Microsoft the software supplier for all computers at government offices; therefore the Business Competition Oversight Commission (KPPU) plans to investigate this because there was no tender process.”

Obviously the one who did the explaining was also the one who did the signing, apparently without the knowledge of Research and Technology Minister. Then again as demonstrated, IT in Indonesia does indeed fall below two separate ministries. The I in one, and the T in another.

This intervention effort actually coming from one institution in one of the world’s most corrupt countries, according to Transparency International. Now that’s quite an improvement. Even though putting forth anti-corruption before anti-piracy is still kind of a dilemma, don’t you think.

But the scarier thing is: not only Bill wants control of your government, he’d have made you pay through your collective noses for the privilege.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Everybody F*ck Now

Or masturbate, whatever. Because Friday, Dec 22nd '06 is the First Annual Syncronized Global Orgasm for Peace event.

This is their Mission Statement:

The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti- submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

Global Orgasm is an experiment open to everyone in the world.The results will be measured on the worldwide monitor system of the Global Consciousness Project.

Meaning, should this movement succeeded in generating volunteers, Friday is going to be a quiet day except for the collective sigh and moans emanated.

Let's make love!

How Carl Sagan Altered the Course of My Life

Just a piece of contribution for the Carl Sagan memorial blog-a-thon, Dec 20th '06 being the tenth anniversary of his passing.

A movie inspired by his novel, Contact, had succeeded in having me dumped by my girlfriend at the time after a heated debate following our return from the theater.

Apparently, she was thoroughly impressed by the story and connected with the Ellie Arroway character big time. Being a chronic slacker back then, I thought the movie was boring in more ways than not. Honestly, I was expecting Alien-type creatures to come out and rip Ellie's guts apart, but what came across was some philosophical science-versus-faith heavy stuff. Quite surprisingly, my bland opinion triggered an emotional reaction from her intellectual standpoint, which got me condemned as one shallow slob. Obviously, our egos took control from that moment onward. We ended up holding different ends of the argument rope (well, you get my point) and we decided to go our separate ways.

Exactly on that night, after that movie.

Yet, this seemingly unimportant detail (hey, couples break up all the time) turned out to be a major turning point in my life. One huge single flapping of the wings of a Butterfly Effect which got me to where I am right now. Feeling dishonored by the label given by her, passion boiled within me to turn things around. No longer dwelling in the pleasure of slacking, I took serious focus in searching for the subject I would've loved most, to work my ass off upon. Suddenly my lazy self sprouted an ambition for the future.

And I found it in advertising.

Fast forward 8 - 9 years to the present, and here I am, cluelessly experimenting with a blog to keep up with the ever changing mediums. Still for the love of advertising.

Mr. Sagan, if you had never written that novel, which being adapted into that movie, which I watched on that particular night, I might still be a jobless manchild. If only you knew how your work had impacted my life.

And for that, I thank you.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Statistically Correct?

Finally the dreaded date safely passed me by, and herewith some random statistic I managed to compile for no particular reason but to exhibit the shift in social behavior of human beings.

For all of you (you know who you are), much gratitude from the deep of my soul. To quote a good friend's catchphrase, I love you all.

From all the warm wishes I gratefully received, below is the breakdown.

11.36% called directly to my mobile (the death of fixed land lines?)
58.33% sent text messages
03.79% sent instant messages
10.61% posted in mailing lists
08.33% left messages/testimonials in social networking sites
07.58% are at work already

Were the percentages in direct proportion to how closely related we are? No.

Even the closest of my friends resorted to the ever powerful text messages.

Makes you wonder how the numbers would've stacked up a decade ago, eh. Obviously, x % thru fixed land lines, and the remaining y % either bumped at work or afterhours. That's all.

Probably in the future, all humans will no longer possess the capability of direct physical interaction. Eerie indeed.

Wonder how we managed to actually make phone calls, not so long ago.

Who, Me?

No, not only me but all of you too. Yes people, all of us have been chosen as Time's Person of the Year, quite an achievement indeed.

But one question sure does arise, what did we do? What have we done to deserve this, the Pet Shop Boys might have asked.

Just because some people got intimate with blogging and YouTube and social networking sites, does that mean all 6+ billion of us deserve this?

Somehow, I got the feeling that we get credited for something which someone else did. And for me, that's not a good feeling.

Time to contribute more.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Only in Japan

Simply too hilarious, who wouldn't want one of these.

- USB Meets Love
- Virtual Takecopter Adventure Game

Vato Theorem, My Favorite Example

Of all the facts supporting the Vato Theorem and 2004 AD as the Midpoint of Time, this particular one is simply too mind-bending.

2002 AD
- Leo Burnett Indonesia won Best of Show at local award Citra Pariwara, but the honor was recalled due to an alleged scam scandal. Therefore, no Best of Show for the year
- Bali bombing incident, exactly one day after Citra Pariwara

2003 AD
- Leo Burnett Indonesia was banned from participating in this year's Citra Pariwara. Best of Show won by Ogilvy Indonesia

2004 AD
- Leo Burnett Indonesia is back in Citra Pariwara. Somehow the Judging Committee decided there would be no Best of Show for the year
- Australian Embassy bombing incident, exactly one day before Citra Pariwara

Coincidence? If it was, why 2004 AD then.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Year of the Blog

No, not this year. 2006 is still the Year of Blog Gone Mainstream, so the answer is 2007 as reported by BBC today.

The question would be, have you started your blog?

Wonder how we're going to look back at this phenomenon, 20 years from now.

A Cryin' Shame-less Plug, Indeed

Have you wondered how many social networking site can a normal human being maintain at any given time?


And for a tiny bit of my blogging history,


Told you this was going to be a shameless plug!

Vato Theorem, an Introduction

Actually, this has been long time coming. Therefore this particular post will be quite long, so please bear with me or type another URL and move on with your day.

Some said that if you discover something, the sooner you publish it the better. Otherwise, someone else will stake a claim to it first, and you'll end up cursing yourself for the "loss of potential gain" for the rest of your life. And now, with this thing called blogging, obviously anyone anywhere can publicly declare anything they want, anytime. Let's see whether this medium will stand the test of time and be our testament to where thoughts can be cast in stone, erm, pixels? It has arguably proven the founder of the ":)" symbol (first recorded back in 1982, with the solid proof defined in 2002), you know.

I should have posted this sometime in 2005 though. Procrastination got the better of me, as always.

Am I loony enough to predict that the human civilization as we know it shall end sometime in the year 4008 AD? Maybe I am. Forget 2012 AD declared by the Mayans, it is 4008 AD (Note to clients/employers: you're entitled to worry about this twisted side of me :D) .

4008 AD, a simple number derived from loosely identifying pattern in chaos, mostly from highly unpredictable sports statistics (to back this sh*t up, am lucky enough to have a Biff Tannen-esque human sports almanac as a best friend). Indeed, am taking a huge risk with this theory, going against an opinion by Helen Joyce on the dangers of spotting patterns in random things.

Why 4008 AD?

Because 2004 AD is what the Vato Theorem shall define as The Midpoint of Time. The year when everything comes full circle and curses/streaks are broken. Everything returned to where it all started. Few major examples from 2004 AD in sports,

Summer Olympics returns to Athens, site of the first modern Summer Olympics in 1896

Boston Red Sox win the World Series for the first time since 1918, breaking the Curse of the Bambino

Detroit Pistons win NBA Finals, a rematch from 1989 when they also beat the Los Angeles Lakers for the title

New England Patriots win the Super Bowl again, after winning it for the first time in 2002

Greece beat host nation Portugal to win UEFA Euro 2004 with a 1 – 0 score, a rematch of the opening game of this tournament when they also beat Portugal with the exact same score


Michael Schumacher wins the last of his 7 F-1 titles in a row

Vijay Singh replaces Tiger Woods at the top of the world rankings, ending Woods' reign of five years and four weeks

In another note, 2004 AD was also the year another president named George Bush lead a nation at war. Deja vu?

Locally, Golkar returns to win General Election (yeah, whatever).

Coincidence, you say? Given this many examples, it's pretty doubtful. Why did all the above occurences pick 2004 AD as the moment for them to return to their original state? No other year in recorded history has this many "coincidences", I believe.

More examples to come, on this twisted prophecy.

Hereby I boldly declare that year 2004 AD was arguably the peak of humanity, hence everything has been going downhill from that moment onward. The growth of acceleration declining to zero, returning to innocence.

If am lucky enough to be cryogenically frozen sometime in the future (and this blog still exists, or in someone's back-up tape), will someone unfreeze me should we safely reach Jan 1st, 4009?

Track List

04 Doctor Pressure - Mylo Vs. Miami Sound Machine
08 Seven Cities – Solarstone
05 My Lexicon - Sander Kleinenberg
01 Dust in The Wind - Gabriel & Dresden
02 Love Comes Again - Tiesto
06 Heaven Scent - John Digweed
09 Silence - Delerium
07 Janeiro - Solid Sessions
10 I Feel You - Schiller mit Heppner
03 Everytime – Lustral

Barely Made This

Yep, slipped this one through just in time. History shall record 2006 as the Year of Blog Gone Mainstream, and somehow the shallowness within me just wouldn't allow my first archive be degraded to Oh Seven.