For us advertising types (via Why Advertising Sucks).
1. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you may choke on.
2. To be at work or not to be at work, that’s a stupid question.
3. It’s not about winning or losing just as long as you realize your life is a joke, not a game.
4. The early bird can hit my snooze button.
5. Getting fired is just life’s way of showing you that you wanted to quit anyway.
6. Think outside the cubicle.
7. You’re only as creative as the shitty brief you were given in the first place.
8. A paper cut is nature’s way of getting you back for wasting tree bark on stupid revisions.
9. Creativity is not designed to withstand the effects of 15-hour work-days.
10. Remember, you never waste time; you merely do activities to get the creative juices flowing.
11. Coffee breaks are protected by law, remind everyone.
12. Never stop doodling.
13. To err is human, but to give a damn is your choice.
14. Not matter your talent, there is always someone willing to do your work for half the pay.
15. Coffee should never be charged for.
16. If you are forced to eat pizza for dinner, order 12 toppings, breadsticks and chicken wings.
17. Happy hours at the office aren’t that happy.
18. By the same rule, any hour away from your desk should be a happy hour.
19. Quit a company when you begin to dream of revisions.
20. Strive to achieve leaving your office before nightfall.