"You killed my brother!"

At least, that's the one line crossing my head each time I watch a dubbed Chinese martial arts movie. Lips movement disastrously out of sync with the dialogue. Still, pure brilliance I'd say.

Admit it, we all have our own fantasies, and somehow Tiger Beer knew that mine involves dubbing a kung fu movie. Just like this (via Make The Logo Bigger).

Enough of me bragging about my brief stint as Offline Editor, now it's your turn to play Sound Engineer.

Empowered by Dreams

Once a suit will always be a suit, am guilty as charged. Can't help plugging a former account left and right, but they totally earn it.
Like this effort from their F1 team, offering people chance to have their name on the racecar (similar to JPL's). I rest my case.

Retirement Plan

Have you ever wondered where agency people went to retire from the biz after whoring countless years of zero-conscience capitalism work?

Most crossed to the client-side (especially the account types), lured by the glitter of huge take-home-pay packages and annual bonuses.

Few graduated to become Writers (of script or book) and Film Directors, like Yasmin Ahmad.

But only one became Manchester United’s Group Commercial Director. Now that's divine intervention.

For me, I see porn on my horizon (unfortunately, Playboy Indonesia beat me to that). Vivid Indonesia, anyone?

UPDATE:

A good agency friend of mine has this theory once, that if the Cannes International Film Festival is the "granddaddy of all film festivals" while we're still daydreaming about Lion statues, then a career shift to porn (an actual full-length film industry, not just bloated 30-seconders) would actually mean that we're moving up the food chain!

Tale of Two Idols

As much as I hate the Indonesian take of it, am pretty much a victim to the months-long delayed-broadcast behemoth that is American Idol. And not for the singing, dare I say. You'll see why.

Jennifer Hudson of 2004's Top 12 (she finished 7th), bagged an Oscar in the 79th Annual Academy Awards for Best Actress in A Supporting Role with the movie Dreamgirls. Now that's what I call living the American Dream. Take that, B!

Antonella Barba of 2007's Top 24 (she's safe in the top 20, as of today), sucked. Literally. (Well, at least she won't be needing this even though she'd still better skip his) vote for her, America! Ain't she the true All-American Girl? Can't wait what Simon has to say about this. Watching her holding a microphone will never be the same.

Idea is Nothing if...

We're totally unaware of what has been going on around the world, not just in our own country. Definitely nothing.

Great minds think alike? (I honestly believe the guy when he told me that he just found out about Twitter this morning, but) sorry dude, I'll stick with mine, thank you. Well, at least his could be an Indonesian (albeit very primitive) version of it. Twittering versus ngekron? Hmm.

Non-native speakers, do get a proper translation.

---

> bedanya ngeblog dan ngekron
>
> Posted by: "kukuh T Wicaksono"
>
> Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:29 am (PST)
>
> Bedanya ngeblog di tempat (wordpress.com,blogger.com,multiply.com) dan
> di kronologis.com
>
> Perbedaan paling utama adalah
> 1. Ngeblog pakai komputer dan Ngekron (ngeblog di kronologis.com) pakai Hp.
>
> 2.a. Definisi ngeblog ditempat seperti
> wordpress.com,blogger.com,multiply.com
> Ngblog adalah menceritakan pendapat,komentar,kehidupan sehari-hari
> apa yang kamu alami dan kamu rasakan. semakin panjang dan dalam
> semakin bagus.
> 2.b. Definisi ngeblog di kronologis.com ngekron (ngeblog
> dikronologis.com) adalah menceritakan dimana kamu berada sekarang dan
> sedang apa sekarang?. ngeblog disini nggak perlu panjang-panjang,
> yang penting temen2 kamu tahu apa yang kamu kerjakan, sedang apa,
> dimana, dan yang penting mereka tahu bahwa kamu masih hidup.
>
> 3.a. Tujuan Ngeblog (wordpress.com,blogger.com,multiply.com)
> Tujuan ngeblog adalah sarana aktualisasi diri, kebebasan mengemukakan
> pendapat.
> 3.b. Tujuan Ngekron (ngeblog di kronologis.com) Tujuan ngekron
> (ngeblog di kronologis.com) adalah memberitahukan kepada teman2
> terdekat kamu, apa yang kamu kerjakan dan posisi kamu berada
> sekarang.
>
> 4.a. Manfaat Ngeblog (wordpress.com,blogger.com,multiply.com)
> orang jadi lebih tahu mengenai siapa diri kamu?
> 4.b. Manfaat Ngekron (ngeblog di kronologis.com) orang terdekat kamu
> tahu kamu lagi ngapain dan sedang apa dan dimana

Unplug Your Life

Around two months ago, people all around the world were encouraged to participate in a global coital movement. Therefore, being the fully-evolved bunnies that we are, we duly obliged and screwed our brains out exactly on that fateful day (ahem, at least I contributed my part) which probably did produce enough "positive energy" to actually force some sort of a long overdue withdrawal (not to mention another element which collectively must have been more than a, erm, cube-full).

But now, while we wait for 2007's Synchronized Global Orgasm (as if people actually need a reason to f*ck like bunnies every now and then), all of us can look forward to one month from now for the Shutdown Day, when people everywhere will be encouraged to *gasp* live one full day without a computer! Scary, huh.

Hell, I know I can.

You want to know why? Simply because March 24th, 2007 is a Saturday, people. Unlike most people Stateside, us Indonesians are quite strangers to the term "always-on broadband", let alone having it connecting our homes. If we ain't workin', why bother bootin'. I think we're going to pass this experiment just fine.

Just don't ask me to switch off my mobile.

How to Make 50 Grand* in Five Easy Steps

*Give or take, the actual amount is up to IDR 500 million. Valid in Indonesia only.

Step 1: Identify two of the oldest planes (or the ones with the highest risk factor) still in service from this list (except PK-KKW 737-4Q8 (retired/still missing) and PK-KKV 737-300 (awaiting repair/retired), and verify their respective flight numbers (IATA Code: KI) accordingly.

Step 2: Recruit a hobo which resembles your physical characteristics down to the details.

Step 3: Book a seat under your name on either plane’s each and every flight thru their site, and pay the airfares accordingly. (For an easy 50 grand, of course this will still cost you.)

Step 4: Ensure that your recruited hobo will board each and every flight you’ve booked and paid for, obviously he/she must always fly and be registered under your name in every Flight Manifest. (Last time I checked, once completing the Check In procedure on domestic flights, any passenger holding a valid Boarding Pass can board the plane without a proper ID verification.)

Step 5: Patiently anticipate the tragic breaking news (so far in 2007, the rate is one incident per month), and instruct your family/next of kin to follow the claim procedure accordingly thereafter. Pray for the unfortunate victims, and pray hard for no DNA testing.

Disclaimer: The author accepts NO responsibility for any action resulting from this post, the author does NOT expect people to actually follow these steps, nor there is any guarantee that these steps will work at all. This post is only intended as a reminder that: us Indonesians might just be loony enough to try this (actually, this post does serve to pre-empt those lunatics); and NO ONE should be allowed to board Indonesian domestic flights by showing another person’s valid Boarding Pass. Lastly, AdamAir please get your act straight!

Lies Well Disguised

You said you don't want to play Art Director, but...

I know you want to (via Brand DNA). As for me, am quite satisfied just being an Offline Editor.

Separated at Birth?

"History in brief."

Agency: Graffiti BBDO, Romania.

via Ads of the World.

---

Relevance

"Water damage? Household insurance from only 60 Euro p.a."

Agency: McCann Erickson/McEmotion, Germany.

via Ads of the World.

---

One country's exaggeration is another country's bitter reality.

Kampung Melayu, we feel you.

"Lokasinya di dekat pompa bensin." -- Ilham Arief Sirajuddin, Mayor of Makassar, in support of Kalla Group's plan to develop a "Disneyland"-style theme park in the metropolitan city.

Attention Residents!

How well do you know your neighbors?

One sword-wielding man crashed through another man's apartment trying to save a woman he thought was being sexually assaulted, only to be shown a porn movie from where the noise came. Hmm, talk about hearing a loud banging (sorry, bad pun). In another news, the body of a man dead for more than a year has been found in a chair in front of his television, which was still on. Tell this to your clients the next time they ask where do high ratings come from (sorry Nielsen).

Classic Response

I know nothing about Ade Armando -- who once wrote an article against polygamy a few years back, but surprisingly has (allegedly) decided to reverse his opinion and embrace the concept by his own personal reasons -- and seriously I don’t give a damn about what he does with his life (pardon me, but am pretty sure he DOES have his reasons). But his response to a message addressed to him which was posted on the mailing list mediacare[at]yahoogroups.com (as below)?

Classic.

Non-native speakers, do get a proper translation.

---

Maaf, saya harus berkata kasar
Posted by: adenina@cbn.net.id Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:52 am (PST)

Kepada teman-teman yang lain, saya minta maaf kalau saya terpaksa berkata kasar kepada penulis surat bernama Christopher Nommensen.

Kepada Christopher (yang saya duga bukan nama sebenarnya): "Anda anjing!"

ade armando

> From: Christopher Nommensen <mailto:christopher_nommensen%40yahoo.com>
> To: mediacare@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Monday, February 19, 2007 10:30:42 AM
> Subject: Utk Mbak Dinda. Mendukung Bung Ade Re: Dalam hidup orang bisa
> berubah - Re: [mediacare] Sikap tdk konsisten Ade Armando ttg Poligami
>
> Orang memang bisa berubah....
>
> Dulu menyatakan setia pada istri tercinta...
>
> Tetapi istri pertama mulai menua.. sedangkan di depan mata ada mahasiswa
> berusia di awal 20-an yang masih "suegerr"... sayang kan kalau
> disia-siakan ....bukan begitu bung Ade??
>
> Mbak Dinda..
>
> Kita tunggu saja 30 tahun lagi... Jika istri kedua bung Ade, si Citra
> sudah mulai menua... sedangkan bung Ade masih jadi dosen... Apakah dia
> akan memperistri mahasiswanya yang masih segerrr....
>
> Hidup Bung Ade... Pencinta "kesegaran"

You Don't Want to Miss this Bandwagon!

Yep, especially when you'll get a FREE one-year subscription only by posting the above logo and linking to http://ridethebandwagon.com before Feb 22nd. All aboard!

Perfection in Execution

Next to Honda's Cog, this one from Orange must have consumed the most film rolls.

You don't wanna miss this!

(likemind) jkt Play-by-play

And we’re off! It’s 9 a.m. and the WiFi connection over here has yet to recover from the massive flood earlier this month. Ah, how we Jakarta people blissfully found the perfect excuse for each little mishap happening within the last few weeks: FLOOD! Flood is to blame for missed deadlines, coming late for work/meetings, and everything else that doesn’t work properly in this town. Yousuf and myself are starting to wonder whether we should’ve been doing this in the evening instead, but the argument was we might end up being too easy for our own sake. If other cities can do it in the morning, so why can’t we.

9:15 Yaya joins us, but apparently he stumbled upon us by mistake since he didn’t even know we’re having this. Ha. So much for the invitations. Conversations have ranged from the flabbergasted reactions of colleagues on the idea of skipping work for this (fortunately, us Planner-types can claim this as working, so there), to welcoming a fly with a broken leg which landed on our table.

9:45 Well, we almost reach the end of the buffer (in Indonesia, with Jakarta specifically, sadly it is customary to be granted a 45 minutes to 1 hour grace period for lateness from the specified hour) yet no one else but Yaya and the fly turned up so far. Even Yaya has to leave us for a bit for another appointment. And the fly is still struggling on its back.

10:00 Yaya is back and Dacil shows up (apparently he’s very diligent on this buffer thing). By now, the discussion has been ranging from shifting this to Friday afternoon, Jakarta’s apparent lack of interest to catch up with the other cities, how planners should ideally work, definition of working itself and its difference between cities, how the world seems to come together and becomes more transparent yet Indonesians are still leaving themselves out, comparing Soeharto to Sukarno, and leukemia. Dacil insists on discussion about the flood, on which I reply: BORING!

10:30 Dacil and Yaya are posing for the pics, and there goes our effort to try acting natural ha ha. Most likely we’re gonna wrap this up soon, please do visit Yousuf’s for the summary. He’s the better writer between the two of us, hee hee. It has been a fun experience people, now we pass the baton to the next city. Thanks for the support everyone especially the likemind posse out there, our shout-outs to Piers, Jeff and Noah. Until next time!

(likemind) jkt slash Jakarta Coffee Morning

Kinda occurred to me that on this likemind scheduled date Feb 16th, 2007 at 9 a.m. local time, Jakarta's gonna be the first on Earth due to the time zones. Yet if am not mistaken, Bangkok Coffee must still be ongoing as of this moment.

Which makes me wonder whether there is a difference between likemind and Coffee Mornings/Evenings, because apparently there are only few cities got listed in both (Russell has the list for Coffee Mornings).

Somehow the control freak in me believed the two lists of cities should've been merged from the start. Then again, am the type of person freaking out if my mobile is not synchronized with the notebook and the PDA. Pardon my babbling.

Anywho, today we received a slick FedEx package from the kind gentlemen halfway across the globe for tomorrow's episode. Neat stuff, courtesy of Anomaly. (No, we're not going to say what these are. You just need to drag your lazy ass to Starbucks Setiabudi One to get your hands on some.)

Hopefully the WiFi there won't fail us, should we feel the narcissistic urge to post a play-by-play. Hee hee.

Five Years Cycle (continued)

Move over CNN! This is amateur journalism at its best.

A Country without Shame

Ah, how we still remember not so long ago, when someone claimed to have found the wreckage of the doomed Adam Air which ended up to be a total joke. But apparently nobody claimed responsibility for this misinformation, even the KNKT (National Transportation Safety Committee) classified this embarassing incident as mere human error. On which the presiding Kepala Staf Angkatan Udara (Indonesian Air Force Head of Staff) geniusly followed up with his reassurance to START relying upon visual confirmation before releasing further official statement on the search progress. Which I'd say, "HELLO?! If not thru visual, what on earth were they relying upon all this time? Paranormal?"

Fast forward 30 days or so, and Indonesians, notoriously famous for their incapability to multitask and digest more than one information at a time, were already overwhelmed by the immense media coverage when the capital city was hit hard by flood resulting from a torrent of heavy rain which incapacitated 60% of its area. Then again, nobody came forward to accept responsibility for this catastrophy, even though it had been warned many many times that the 2002 flood will eventually repeat itself. Or probably Bang Yos did have a better idea on how to optimize this oversupply of water. NOT!

Bottomline is, when the shit hits the fan, more often than not Indonesians will refute any claim of accountability. Even on the smallest injustice of public flatulence!

Compared to this act by the Head of Cartoon Network over the guerilla marketing stunt gone awry in Boston, when he could've simply fired his alternative-marketing agency, we have no shame indeed.

Guess it will be decades before Indonesian leaders evolve into someone like Obama.

Must be The Brief?

Emerald Nuts, tackling the mid-afternoon drop of energy. Actually, quite similar strategy with Soupy Snax's campaign but somehow managed not to be as crappy.

Random Posting

First of all, am an agnostic. Therefore, this really doesn't concern me at all. But have to agree with Make The Logo Bigger, "What the?!"

What do you know, a comprehensive social-networking site for the "adventurous" type. Now you can literally tag and share those memorable, erm, "places of interest".

Wish there's going to be a lot more of this. Remaining anon, getting chicks to undress, sharing the pictures for free. Life is good.

UPDATE:

Praise the Lord! The butt formula has been debunked. Now if only someone crack the one for boobs!

Rave culture is back. You fools, it never went away!

For the Writer within. Drag your ass to A Million Penguins and participate in this sort of "one million monkeys plus one million typewriters" project. I know you want it.

For the Cannibal within. Have we got a treat for you! And to think that Sumanto had to go to extremes to fulfill his cravings. Poor guy, if only he knew about this restaurant. Will a review by Doctor Lecter not be too far away? Kind of saw this coming though, knowing the Japanese fascination with extreme gore such as these.

Ease on that argument! Next time you're in a frustrating brainstorming session, remember not to end up like this. No matter how crappy the brief or the idea is.

Hair extension was quite the rage. Wonder if the urban legend was true though, because a friend of a friend of friend of a friend of another friend once experienced something unexplainable.

ABSOLUT and Lomo. Nuff said.

"Well, who am I to tell a lady that she's a liar. I have no recollection. I'm sure it was memorable for her, though." -- William Shatner, in response to TIME's question that Babylon 5 actress Claudia Christian recently gave an interview in which she accused him of once making advances on the set of T.J. Hooker.

Support Your Local YouTuber

Giving the benefit of the doubt that he got inspired Chuck McBride's, here's Dicki Erlangga of JWT Indonesia in his funniest resignation act.

No Wonder (NSFW)

minus

equals

Well, obviously this girl ain't no Anna Nicole (may she rest in peace, isn't death before 40 the stuff icons were made of?). Or probably she would be much interested in this.

likemind.jkt slash Jakarta Coffee Morning slash whatever

Like I said, am a chronic global trend slut wannabe. So here goes,

Jakarta's first Coffee Morning/likemind/whatever is scheduled for Friday, Feb 16th, at 9 a.m. (you gotta be kiddin' me!), Starbucks Setiabudi One.

Hosted by yours truly and Ucup.

No agenda.

Just tell your boss you have a morning meeting.

WTF is this? Come all, and discover the fun.

Hopefully the flood would have washed our sorrow away. Ack!

Five Years Cycle

Not as bad as it looked like on CNN though :P

Get a Mac: UK

Originated in USA, Remade in Japan, and finally we have the UK official version. I challenge all of you out there to upload the unofficial Indonesian version. Now is the age of Consumer Generated Anything, right? :D